The Art of Detachment

When you think of past friendships, relationships, or toxic cycles with people in general do you still feel attached to them or the situation? Does it continue to have an affect on you and you don’t know why? I will be showing you how to protect yourself and energy from toxicity and future unnecessary heartaches. (sometimes pain helps us grow but not all pain). Emotionally detaching, is another skill that I was late to learn. So allow me to put you on game if you didn’t already know!

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  • First and foremost with ANY and ALL new people coming into your life and anyone you currently question THINK WITH YOUR HEAD INSTEAD OF YOUR HEART
    • Once you start leading with your emotions it gets harder but NOT IMPOSSIBLE to detach!
    • This step is because when you wear your emotions on your sleeve you become too emotionally vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Stay a step ahead!
    • If you only think with emotions and your heart you start overlooking red flags because you want to be with that person or friend so badly no matter what you are being put through. STOP THAT.
    • Even heaven has gates up, stop letting everyone in.
  • Have you heard the saying “put your eggs in more than one basket”? Apply that with people until you cut out the manipulators and know you have genuine people in your corner.
    • Ask yourself “What is this persons intentions?”, “Are they trying to better me?”, “Are they trying to better themselves?”, or “Do they only complain all the time and never see their own faults?”.
    • Pay attention to how people make you feel. Trust that GUT!! That’s your intuition. This may be hard I’m aware. Especially if you’re like me and realized these things late and multiple people used and abused your kindness.
    • Don’t readily hand over your heart make people work for it! I mean that’s your heart. Don’t play yourself! You know what you do and don’t deserve.
    • If they are not willing to be vulnerable, committed, and open then you shouldn’t be either.
  • Stop being overly available for people who are never available for you!
    • It gives off a sense of “she/he doesn’t have anything else going on let me drop all my problems off on her/him”, or “she/he is always free for me”.
    • This leads you to being taken for granted and feeling drained all the time. Stop letting people pick you up and drop you off when they benefit. They are robbing your energy.
    • Set BOUNDARIES and STAND ON THEM. Your real friends or people who really care about you will respect them without taking it personally.
  • Have your OWN life and things to do
    • No one wants someone around them 24/7! Space and independence is always needed just determine how much for each situation using all of the tips listed.
  • Reflect on previous heartbreaks. Take in those lessons and apply what you know.
    • Have a “Well I’m not doing that again” mentality and it won’t happen again! Learn from it, move on from it, and apply this new understanding and perspective.
    • Stop repeating the same toxic cycles with different toxic people. Consider it the same situation just a different face.
  • Detaching helps with healing and protection.
    • Detachment helps with healing by making you go back to other painful times in your life and learning from those mistakes. You’ll forgive yourself for your part you played remember you still are responsible for your own life so take accountability for your part played, forgive them, thanks for the lessons, and move on!
    • It is a form of protection because now you have this new knowledge so you are armed from the beginning now. It’s like playing cards with someone but you already know their hand and what they are going to do before they do. Take this upper hand to protect yourself.